we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
