I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize