i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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