god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize