I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
