Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
