Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
