Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
