your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize