Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I want a musical about memes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
