So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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