I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The Olympian is in my bed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
