So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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