2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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