What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize