I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
