Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
