i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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