How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize