For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
