I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
