But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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