Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
