its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
