Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
