This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They have beer where we have blood.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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