That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize