walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
