Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
