So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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