New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
