If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
