I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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