he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize