I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
