Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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