What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
