Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
