Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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