Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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