dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
