i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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