3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
