He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
