Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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