I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize