One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Your dad touched me again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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