Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
