what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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