i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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