I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
time to smoke my breakfast
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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