ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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