I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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