there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
