he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
