can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
