what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
