You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
