you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
