you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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