Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
