I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
