I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
