we're blogging at a bar
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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