Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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