What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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