I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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