Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
