You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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