Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
