Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize