he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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