fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that's an acceptable place to lick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
