I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My vagina is officially offended.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize