office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
3pm strippers are depressing
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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