I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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